[Photo: Dr. Pinder Chipps]
1) What was your initial reaction when your son revealed his decision to go through the "Wizard's Change" and become a centaur? Take us back to that fateful day.
My initial reaction was confusion, which was followed quickly by anger, then guilt... and finally hunger for some reason. After I ate a sandwich and spoke with parents who had gone through the same experience, I realized the Five Stages of Centaur Awareness are completely normal. The last stage, of course, is acceptance.
2) How is your relationship with your centaur son today?
I have wonderful relationships with both of my centaur sons! Just last weekend my wife and I drove out to Fabian's meadow for dinner and a movie. We watched Seabiscuit (again!).
3) Are all centaurs lustful drunks?
Yes. Studies show that centaurs do experience higher levels of alcoholism than the greater population. My youngest son, Quintz, has been through the Program and has now been sober for three years. As he now likes to joke when going out with friends, "You can lead a centaur to a bar, but you can't make him drink!"
4) Is it considered "tacky" to ride your centaur child?
Well, personally, I think "exhilarating" is the correct term. However, my sons would be more likely to agree with you.
5) What about forcibly entering your centaur into the Kentucky Derby?
Many parents want to live vicariously through their children. However, whether it's pushing them into baseball, or ballet, or doing a series of jumps over various hurdles and ditches, it's important to remember that parents should motivate and nurture their child's interests and not their own.
6) What advice would you give parents who are struggling to accept their centaur child?
Remember that it's not a choice. Your child was born this way - they just weren't born into the body they wanted. Once you realize being a centaur is a core part of your child's personality, it's easier to understand and accept them.
7) Is it too much to ask that your centaur child wears pants in public?
Oh, the arguments I've had on this subject! Look, it's a different culture, and there's nothing you're going to say to convince them otherwise. Some sons get a pierced ear, or a tattoo. Others have four legs and refuse to cover them with pants. After years of fighting it, I've just come to tolerate it rather than let it ruin Thanksgiving dinner.
8) What exactly are your qualifications to be giving this advice...?
I have two centaur sons and a psychology degree that I purchased from the back of a hobo's car. I'd say that's plenty qualified.
[Photo: Obvious Plant Publications]
So Your Son is a Centaur: Coping With Your Child's Confusing Life Choices is available for purchase at Book Soup for $7,000,000. This is Dr. Pinder Chipps's first book.
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